APRIL FOOLS’ DAY – April 1

April Fools’ Day on April 1st has long been a day when practical jokes and tricks are played on the unaware. It’s a time when children convince their parents they’ve broken a bone. Parents get in on the planning, too. Classic April Fools’ jokes include caramel covered onions or fake doggy doo-doo in inconvenient places. Businesses launch impractical or unbelievable products for the fun of the day and newspapers print incredible headlines catching readers off guard.   
#AprilFoolsDay

Of course, the trick to a good April Fools’ prank is planning. And you also need to be the first to pull it off. There’s no point in pursuing your prank if someone else beats you to it. Once the foolery has been triggered, everyone else will be on high alert and the element of surprise will be lost.

Some practical jokers go to great lengths to pull off their ruse. The more people involved the greater the risk of being discovered before the great plan can be deployed.
HOW TO OBSERVE APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

    Prepare your best pranks and practical jokes.
    Share stories of your greatest April Fools’ jokes.
    Be safe playing your pranks and be sure to have a good laugh. It’s all in fun.
    Share your experiences being fooled and laugh while you reminisce.
    Use #AprilFoolsDay to post on social media.

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY HISTORY

We would be fools to think we knew precisely when April Fools’ Day was originally celebrated. However, April Fools Day shares similarities with other days full of fools, tricks, and merry-making.

Some believe the day is celebrated in honor of the trickery Mother Nature plays on us this time of year with her unpredictable weather. Another possible connection is the Indian tradition of Holi. The day is celebrated on March 31st and practices the same foolery as April Fools’ Day. So does the Roman festival of Hilaria which was celebrated on March 25th.

The earliest known reference to April Fools’ Day is in Chaucer’s 1392 Nun’s Priest’s Tale. Even so, the reference is so vague, and possibly not even occurring on the first of April, leaving doubt as to whether it is the first reference.

Other scholars point to the reformation of the calendar by Pope Gregory and the Gregorian calendar we used today in the 1500s in France. The new year would take place in April, not January as it does now. The theory is that those who continued to celebrate the new year on April 1st were called Poisson d’Avril (April fish) and pranks would be played on them.

In 1582, France accepted the Gregorian calendar, but reforms had already been taking place.

In Britain in 1776, there is a clear and reliable reference to April foolishness in an article in Gentlemans Magazine.  Reference to a custom in the kingdom of making fools of people on the first day of April.  It addresses the day being the culmination of an eight-day feast and the beginning of a new year.
Noted Foolery

Newspapers, television, radio, and social media have had their fun on April Fools’ Day. Check out all this April 1 foolishness:

    Times of London reported in 1992 that Belgium was negotiating to join Holland.
    The Evening Star of Islington advertised in 1864 a display of donkeys at the Agricultural Hall the next day. Those who arrived early soon realized who the donkeys on display really were.
    In 1950, The Progress in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, published a picture of a UFO flying over the town. Claiming to have “scooped” larger publications of the first-ever published picture of a real flying saucer.
    In 2008, the BBC presented a documentary on flying penguins.

April Fool’s FAQ

Q. Is April Fool’s Day always on April 1st?
A. Yes. If your friends, coworkers and the news seems especially goofy on April 1st, this is why.

Q. Can anyone participate in April Fool’s Day?
A. Yes. Silliness and practical joking are for everyone. It’s important not to pull a prank that might be dangerous. Some fun and harmless ways to celebrate include:

    Slipping a rubber snake, worm, mouse, or other creature into food.
    Leaving a fake mess for someone to find like plastic puppy droppings or spilled milk.
    Switch the labels on a few cans of vegetables.
    Pour gravy over ice cream. Add sprinkles for an authentic look.
    Stick a sign on your friend’s back that says, “Wish me a happy birthday!”
    Call the local radio station and wish your little sister “Happy 50th Birthday” ten years early.
    Post on social media that you’re moving to a foreign country.

A Young man named Chris wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend, Andrea. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived a considerable distance away.
He consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
Off he went with his sister to Macy's ladies dept and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of panties for herself at the same time.
Macy's had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Andrea got the panties.
Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter:
__________________________________________________
Dear Andrea,
I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the longer ones with, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove).
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked great in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.
Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.
All my love
Chris.
P.S. My mom tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

https://stevekirsch.substack.com/p/the-faa-has-very-quietly-tacitly?publication_id=548354&post_id=97001835&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true

Merry Christmas to all!!  Wife and daughter are cooking up a storm having a blast since both love to cook.  I stay outta the kitchen and do the clean up later.  That's my contribution.

.
It’s about ballots, not votes.

And it's also about who counts the votes.

I’d trust her over DeSantis any day.

From watching some of her speeches and her past I tend to agree with you.  But I do have to color that with what DeSantis has to put up with in Florida with Trump.

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

    These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
    8 years old,
    Hateful little bastard.
    Bites!

    FREE PUPPIES
    1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.FREE PUPPIES.
    Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
    Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

    COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
    Also 1 gay bull for sale.

    JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
    Must sell washer and dryer £100.

    WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
    Worn once by mistake.
    Call Stephanie.****

    And the WINNER is... ****

    FOR SALE BY OWNER.
    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
    Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

    Statement of the Century
    Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

    Children Are Quick

    TEACHER: Why are you late?

    STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

    TEACHER: No, that's wrong

    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.(I Love this child)

    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

    TEACHER: What are you talking about?

    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

    WINNIE: Me!

    TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

    GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

    LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

    TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.

    TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.Did you copy his?

    CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

    HAROLD: A teacher.

This guy was someone allowed inside, probably by Paul, so yeah, Gay lover's quarrel.

Remember, Paul's married to Nancy.....