Unless those journalists committed crimes with their tweets, that is weaponization of government for political purposes against the first amendment. 

And we know the tweets weren’t crimes.

I believe the legal and propoer answer to that demand should have been, fuck off, assholes!"

Channeling her inner chuck schumer, alexandria occassio cortez responded to news that the rightful PRESIDENT, Doneld Trump won the CPAC straw poll, garnering 60% of the votes cast.

For Never Trump, faux conservatives, the news that congress is being asked to take such draconian measures is WELCOME news.

chuck schumer has sternly warned FoxNews to, "AVOID broadcasting any of the facts surrounding Trump's racist victory in the racist CPAC, racist straw, racist poll."

https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-proposes-ban-on-straws-after-learning-trump-won-straw-poll

Following former President Donald Trump's overwhelming victory in CPAC's straw poll for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has proposed legislation that would impose a nationwide ban on the use of straws.

"This poll shows straws are a threat to our democracy!" Ocasio-Cortez said in a statement to the media. "If straws are supporting Donald Trump and his dangerous ‘MAGA' movement, then they have no business being in public circulation, let alone voting for President!"

"Plus, they outnumber humans, like, 2 to 1. That's scary!"

The straw poll, conducted at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, showed Trump garnering a commanding 60% of the votes cast. This resulted in immediate calls from Democrats to subject straws to even heavier regulation.

https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-proposes-ban-on-straws-after-learning-trump-won-straw-poll

'I Would Never Trust A Female Airline Pilot,' Says Man Who Doesn't Know How To Change The Wiper Blades On His Car
LIFE
·
Mar 8, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-would-never-trust-a-female-pilot-says-man-who-doesnt-know-how-to-change-the-wiper-blades-on-his-car

If you’re married, you know.


Panic Erupts On Delta Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
U.S.
·
Mar 5, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Article Image
U.S. — A scene of desperation and panic unfolded on a Delta Airlines flight after the captain of the all-female flight crew announced over the intercom that everything was fine.

"Sure, just go on doing whatever you want back there. It's fine," said Captain Savannah Ross with a sigh. "Why wouldn't it be fine?"

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0Dxv4DXhWv19jqfiYdCc236GcVtnXNknPgWkucAgL2HiJWqg28DBhuY6WYMikQ4Enl&id=1355517365&mibextid=ncKXMA

Finished listening. Her tale of her rise in the Democrat party was interesting.  Also interesting was how as incoming representatives they are told what their schedule will be and how much fundraising they have to do each day.  The whole process is so out of whack at this point, it seems onsalvageable. Her heart seems to be in the right place.

There is a lovely young lady that works as a server in the mornings at Pat's Eatery, a local restaurant. The last several times we've had breakfast there we've had her. Yesterday, discussion turned to the weather and we told her we were going to watch our grandson play at 8:00 last night and we hoped the forecast was correct. She said she had to play at 5:00. Said she was a Senior at Flowery Branch, local high school, and played forward. She is a very polite and quite a modest young lady.
https://fbhssoccer.teamsitesnow.com/44676/flowery-branch-high-school/soccer/girls-soccer/news/14843

Lightfoot Loss Blamed On Rampant Murder-phobia

CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot lost her bid for reelection this week in what Lightfoot and other critics are calling a blatant example of the rampant murderphobia that still exists among residents of the city.

"Murderphobia is still an unfortunate reality here in Chicago, and it is the reason I was not reelected as this city's mayor," said Lightfoot to reporters. "People were so busy being afraid of being shot in the face by gang members that they forgot about what an amazing mayor I was. Let me be clear: murderphobia is racist. Murderphobia is bigoted. Murderphobia is NOT ok. Full stop."

Lightfoot has pledged to spend the next few years fighting against murderphobia in all its forms, as well as taxes-phobia, regulations-phobia, and stabbed-in-the-neck-by-a-homeless-guy-phobia.

"My unfair and tragic election loss because of bigotry is a sad day for Chicago," Lightfoot continued as she dodged several stray bullets that whizzed over her head. "And all because of fear. So sad."

At publishing time, Chicago's new mayor vowed to fight against Chicago's policephobia.

https://babylonbee.com/news/lightfoot-loss-blamed-on-rampant-murder-phobia

Gotta love the Bee