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I try to go to Kathryn’s Report and it wants me to agree to terms and sign in to confirm my age? Has she been hacked again? I’m not clicking on that shit. I wish somebody knew Kathryn and could find out what’s going on.
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DETROIT, MI — A local man is being forced to leave behind friends, family, and even his own name to seek his fortune in a far-off country after accidentally ending a business call by saying "I love you."
"Ok Tom, let's just put a pin in that and circle back with those Q3 sales figures on Monday. Ok, I love you," said Dave Smith before covering his mouth in horror at the realization of his horrifying mistake. He then paused awkwardly and just hung up the phone with no further explanation before jumping out a nearby first-story window.
Sources say Mr. Smith is now packing up all his earthly belongings to start a new life elsewhere.
"Welp, I had a good run as an American citizen named Dave, but there's nothing for me here anymore," said Muhammad Jafar Muhammad, whose name was previously Dave. "I can never see or hear from my coworker Tom ever again. Tell my family I'll miss them dearly."
At publishing time Muhammed had started a brand-new career in Qatar but had to move again after attempting to shake a coworker's hand and grabbing only their fingertips.
New PayPal Policy Lets Company Pull $2,500 From Users’ Accounts If They Promote ‘Misinformation’
Ben Zeisloft
4-5 minutes
A new policy update from PayPal will permit the firm to sanction users who advance purported “misinformation” or present risks to user “wellbeing.”
The financial services company, which has repeatedly deplatformed organizations and individual commentators for their political views, will expand its “existing list of prohibited activities” on November 3. Among the changes are prohibitions on “the sending, posting, or publication of any messages, content, or materials” that “promote misinformation” or “present a risk to user safety or wellbeing.” Users are also barred from “the promotion of hate, violence, racial or other forms of intolerance that is discriminatory.”
The company’s current acceptable use policy does not mention such activities. The Daily Wire reached out to PayPal for definitions of the added terms, although no response was received in time for publication.
The policy applies to actions taken using PayPal’s platform.
Deliberations will be made at the “sole discretion” of PayPal and may subject the user to “damages” — including the removal of $2,500 “debited directly from your PayPal account.” The company’s user agreement contains a provision in which account holders acknowledge that the figure is “presently a reasonable minimum estimate of PayPal’s actual damages” due to the administrative cost of tracking violations and damage to the company’s reputation.
“Under existing law, PayPal has the ability as a private company to implement this type of viewpoint-discriminatory policy,” Aaron Terr, a senior program officer at the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, explained to The Daily Wire. “Whatever motivation PayPal has for establishing these vague new categories of prohibited expression, they will almost certainly have a severe chilling effect on users’ speech. As is often the case with ill-defined and viewpoint-discriminatory speech codes, those with unpopular or minority viewpoints will likely bear the brunt of these restrictions.”
The move comes days after PayPal canceled three accounts linked to Toby Young, a commentator who runs a nonprofit called Free Speech Union. The organization has defended clients such as actor and comedian Russell Brand, who recently moved his show from YouTube to Rumble in reaction to censorship from the former platform.
Roughly one-third of Free Speech Union members rely upon PayPal to process their membership dues — although the company gave no explanation to Young for the suspension beyond mentioning a breach of the acceptable use policy. PayPal later restored the accounts after receiving criticism from lawmakers and apologized to Young for “any inconvenience caused,” according to a report from The Telegraph.
Platforms such as Amazon, Twitter, and Facebook have formerly censored conservatives and others who subscribe to heterodox positions on controversial social issues, including transgenderism and homosexuality. GoFundMe seized millions in funds raised for trucker protests in Canada earlier this year, while Google recently began suppressing search results for crisis pregnancy centers.
“These kinds of policies are unwise, threaten free speech, and invite legal risk,” Jeremy Tedesco, vice president of corporate engagement at Alliance Defending Freedom, told The Daily Wire. “When companies apply policies to restrict the religious speech of their customers, they could run afoul of prohibitions on religious discrimination that exist in many state and federal laws.”
PayPal has also sanctioned Gays Against Groomers, a group that opposes the sexualization of children, as well as evolutionary biologist Colin Wright and journalist Ian Miles Cheong. The company featured a rainbow-colored banner on its social media platforms during the month of June affirming that the platform is “open for all” — and PayPal U.K. still sports the banner.
“Whatever PayPal’s intentions may be, censorship and chilling free speech is precisely the effect of these kinds of vaguely worded policies,” Tedesco added. “We’ve seen social media companies use similar policies to stifle free speech on their platforms. We can expect a similar outcome with PayPal.”
Editor’s Note: This article has been updated to clarify actions to which the updated policy appears to apply
NASHVILLE, TN — With the success of Matt Walsh and the newly-bearded Ben Shapiro, pressure is mounting at The Daily Wire headquarters for popular conservative commentator Candace Owens to grow a beard of her own.
"Our incoming data shows a tremendous popularity of beards among our audience," said Lois Fonecharger, marketing analyst for The Daily Wire. "Beards seem to add a certain level of gravitas to someone's argument. Matt Walsh would be powerless without his beard, and there's no denying the surge of attention Ben's new beard is causing online. Some feedback is even saying Ben could pass for 17 years old now instead of 12! We're inching toward a company-wide directive that all on-camera talent grow beards."
While many of the famous faces of The Daily Wire seem to be embracing beard growth as a new pillar of the media company's future plans, some have been more hesitant. "Candace Owens isn't sold on the idea, mainly because she's a woman and unable to grow a beard," said Owens's personal assistant Savanna Jacoby. "I don't really see how covering half of her face with a beard will be beneficial in any way, but she's always a team player and willing to give it a try."
At publishing time, Owens was believed to be moving forward with the plan, even going as far as to set up times to record promo spots for sponsors advertising beard balms and oils, though it is not known at this time what effect this new initiative may have on The Daily Wire's long-standing relationship with Jeremy's Razors.