http://collincountycriminallawyers.com/2013/05/should-pilots-take-the-breath/

I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when a TSA employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....

Too much truth to this to be a joke...

She should get on her knees and give the kid a hum job in front of the group in way of apologizing.

Good morning Everyone! I’m happy to announce Alto Bay ice Runway is now open . Runway 100’ wide 2,730 ‘ long taxi way 50’ wide runway conditions are good a little bumpy in some spots. Fair good traction. For updates call 603-875-3498.

Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue?
 
Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic?
 
 And when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs?
 
 Now KFC has a new offer, the "Nancy Pelosi Special," It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit.

Forgot to add that the Ice Festival will be the 16th & 17th of Feb this year.

This last sentence in that report says it all about Pelosi and that, I believe, is why Trump won't back down.  Dims have promised in the past to secure to border several times but haven't.

Even though Pelosi said she wouldn't punish those who lead the charge against her retaking the speakership, she decided to break that promise. It's the same promise that put her back in the speaker's gavel back in her hand.

All because of a massive inferiority complex of the Dims.  Personal opinion...