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Messages - Old Crow

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121
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 21, 2019, 09:58:24 AM »
Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue?
 
Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic?
 
 And when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs?
 
 Now KFC has a new offer, the "Nancy Pelosi Special," It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit.

122
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 15, 2019, 08:09:02 PM »
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.

123
Spin Zone / Re: Jerry Brown has blood on his hands....
« on: December 27, 2018, 07:49:12 PM »
Moonbeam is a democrat (communist).

Communists never accept blame. They just rewrite the facts the suit them.
My observation is that the Dims deflect blame to where it will (in their minds) advance their cause the most.

124
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: December 25, 2018, 05:50:36 PM »
Santa getting some gas last night

125
Spin Zone / Re: U.S. to pull out of Syria
« on: December 19, 2018, 08:12:48 PM »
A thought occurred to me today.

 This Syria pull out has a purpose.  Trump is goring someone's ox by doing this.  Big contracts are gonna fall.

 Any bet on the back room negotiating going on right now?
Take a look at which Rep or Senator he would love to shove it to then who is the big military contractor in their district.  Had the same thought myself.

126
Spin Zone / Re: Boy Scouts, as seen by Mike Rowe
« on: December 17, 2018, 11:54:22 AM »
I was in the Boy Scouts and did learn morse code.  A buddy and I used it in high school.  Helped a lot on tests.  It was a small high school in the boonies and 20 years later I ran across our algebra teacher.  After talking for awhile she asked how did Dave and I usually come up with same answers on her tests?  Sitting across the desk from her I grabbed a pencil and was tapping the rubber eraser end on her desk.  The look of understanding that came over her face was fabulous.

127
Spin Zone / Re: Do you think I will get banned...
« on: December 09, 2018, 06:11:14 AM »
Just put this on POA we'll see if anyone bitches....
Not to offend anybody, but....🙄

It Snowed Last Night..

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become all because of snowflakes

128
Spin Zone / Re: Clerk doesn't know New Mexico is a state
« on: December 05, 2018, 12:34:23 PM »
Many years ago I was flying a Metro and we were on a ground stop at Nantucket going to Boston.  Talking with the passengers in the terminal my FO and I were asked where we were from because of our accents.  I'm originally from Kansas and my partner in crime that day was from Iowa.  One well dressed lady stiffened and said "Out here we pronounce that O HI O."  It was so hard to keep a straight face but some of the pax couldn't hold it and broke out laughing.  Another lady said must be a Harvard grad.

129
Only the democrats would want a senile idiot (pelosi), a psychopathic liar (hilary) and an aging whore for the face of their party.
Or a kid from NYC who skipped Civics in school.

130
Spin Zone / Re: 2018 Election results thread
« on: November 06, 2018, 09:10:35 PM »
Hawley takes Missouri beating McCaskill.  GREAT!

132
Spin Zone / Re: DiFi alledges Kavanaugh #MeToo, but won't share details
« on: September 24, 2018, 11:14:31 AM »
Here's an idea.  Trump nominates Hildabeast (Hillary) to the Supreme Court so she can FINALLY be investigated to the same extent.

133
Spin Zone / Re: DiFi alledges Kavanaugh #MeToo, but won't share details
« on: September 19, 2018, 04:49:23 AM »
Also according to some reports she doesn't remember when, where this 'event' happened.  The thought has flashed through my mind she made a pass at him and he rejected her.  Who knows what really went on...

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