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Spin Zone / Hosting imigrants
« on: August 12, 2023, 01:24:49 PM »
The Government of Mass must be outta their fucking minds!
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/massachusetts-officials-ask-residents-lend-helping-hand-offer-migrants-extra-room
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/massachusetts-officials-ask-residents-lend-helping-hand-offer-migrants-extra-room
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Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: August 12, 2023, 09:24:09 AM »
You’ll understand
Man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis.
He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer.
He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right every single time.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.
He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
ll
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
Man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis.
He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer.
He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right every single time.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.
He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
ll
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
64
Spin Zone / Re: Monkeypox
« on: August 11, 2023, 01:20:42 PM »I didn’t even know there was a Monkey Pox vaccine.Probably the same shit they passed off as a Covid vax.
65
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: July 30, 2023, 06:06:48 PM »
Cell phones...
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Spin Zone / Re: BabylonBee On Fire!
« on: July 27, 2023, 01:13:59 PM »
Speaking of Feinstein. How many more of our politicians are senile?
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/hot-mic-catches-feinstein-told-vote-aye-awkward-committee-moment
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/hot-mic-catches-feinstein-told-vote-aye-awkward-committee-moment
67
Spin Zone / Re: joe biden Claims He “Ended Cancer As We Know It”
« on: July 26, 2023, 02:09:59 PM »
Maybe the GOP should run Mitch to make things even with the Dims.
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/mcconnell-freezes-up-press-conference-later-says-im-fine
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/mcconnell-freezes-up-press-conference-later-says-im-fine
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Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: July 23, 2023, 07:16:08 AM »
Lotta truth to this
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Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: July 20, 2023, 07:11:36 PM »
Little Billy gets taken to the zoo one weekend by his parents. As they’re wandering round they come across the elephant enclosure. As they’re watching them the bull elephant starts to get an erection. Billy sees it and tugs at his mother’s sleeve…
“Mum… Mum… what’s that?
“What’s what”? asks his mum.
“That… thing hanging down on the elephant”.
“Oh, that’s his trunk.’ says Mum.
“NO” says Billy, “The OTHER end”.
“Oh… You mean his tail?”
“NOOOOO” says Billy, “Hanging down between his legs”
His mother gets all flustered and stammers “Oh… Oh… Oh it’s nothing Billy”, so Billy turns to his dad and asks the question. “Dad, what’s that hanging down between the elephant’s legs?”
His Dad looks and asks “What did your Mum say it was?”
Billy answers “Oh she said it was nothing, that’s why I’m asking you…”
His Dad looks fondly at his son and says “Yeeeeahhh… That’s the trouble with your mother son… She’s been spoilt”.
“Mum… Mum… what’s that?
“What’s what”? asks his mum.
“That… thing hanging down on the elephant”.
“Oh, that’s his trunk.’ says Mum.
“NO” says Billy, “The OTHER end”.
“Oh… You mean his tail?”
“NOOOOO” says Billy, “Hanging down between his legs”
His mother gets all flustered and stammers “Oh… Oh… Oh it’s nothing Billy”, so Billy turns to his dad and asks the question. “Dad, what’s that hanging down between the elephant’s legs?”
His Dad looks and asks “What did your Mum say it was?”
Billy answers “Oh she said it was nothing, that’s why I’m asking you…”
His Dad looks fondly at his son and says “Yeeeeahhh… That’s the trouble with your mother son… She’s been spoilt”.
72
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 29, 2023, 04:30:25 AM »
TAX FILING BY A PROSTITUTE
A young woman walks into a Chartered accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her tax returns.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address etc.
And then asks, ”What’s your occupation?”
“I’m a prostitute,” she says.
The accountant is taken aback and says, “That's too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that."
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.
“No, that still won’t work. We need something more acceptable."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
The accountant said, “Brilliant!!! Poultry Farmer it is!! And agricultural income is tax free!!!
A young woman walks into a Chartered accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her tax returns.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address etc.
And then asks, ”What’s your occupation?”
“I’m a prostitute,” she says.
The accountant is taken aback and says, “That's too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that."
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.
“No, that still won’t work. We need something more acceptable."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
The accountant said, “Brilliant!!! Poultry Farmer it is!! And agricultural income is tax free!!!
73
Spin Zone / Re: What the actual fuck is this?
« on: June 28, 2023, 12:47:43 PM »
I love the one comment. "The club of ugly women and the men who are afraid of them."
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/dem-slammed-abortion-consistent-catholic-faith-confession
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/dem-slammed-abortion-consistent-catholic-faith-confession
74
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 25, 2023, 05:26:40 AM »
A couple had been married for 50 years.They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.''I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.''I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal'
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Spin Zone / Re: Russia coup attempt
« on: June 24, 2023, 09:23:00 AM »
Vietnam taught me that truth is the first causality in any war.