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Messages - Lucifer

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76
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 19, 2024, 08:06:08 PM »
A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game,

The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!

The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".

The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: "Walk." The batter starts his slow trot to first base.

The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, run!"

The people around him begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.

A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he has four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"

77
Spin Zone / Re: Sports Illstrated Laying Off ENTIRE Staff
« on: January 19, 2024, 02:41:24 PM »
Gee, you put a morbidly obese woman on the cover of the swimsuit issue one year and then a tranny on the cover the next year and it hurts your business? Shocker.

78
Spin Zone / Re: Global Warming? Arctic Ice at Highest Level for 21 Years
« on: January 18, 2024, 04:03:50 AM »
Step 1) Take a normal natural phenomenon, claim it is abnormal and dangerous. 

Step 2) Accuse general public of causing it.

Step 3) Demand money to “fix” it.

Step 4) Implement restrictions on the public’s lifestyle and behavior.

Step 5) Exempt yourself from the restrictions, and…

Step 6) Profit!

79
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 17, 2024, 08:23:17 AM »
Haha!!! I just liked Lucifer’s post in green about moderating the forum, but thought that for Joe’s sake I should say that I liked it because of its sarcasm. I’m so thoughtful.  ;D

80
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 16, 2024, 12:03:43 PM »
It is a primary, not a general election. Stop listening to the pundits - they'll rot your brain. I am not a Never Trumper, and even if I were you would need to address my arguments. But you engage in personal attacks as a matter of course so obviously that approach is not possible for you. This forum is an echo chamber that drowns out any contrary opinion with irrelevant personal attacks so your reaction was as expected.

The reality is that 50% in the first primary is not a blow-out for a second-term president. For example, even though he barely won more than 50% in the NH primary LBJ over McCarthy, the poor showing caused him to stop campaigning for president.

Very few here engage in personal attacks.  I'm guilty of it, but it is rare for me. Nobody is forced to read a post nor respond to anyone.

81
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 16, 2024, 11:54:54 AM »
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic

garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in

awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20

bills falling Out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and

see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that

money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to

the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and

pee

through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used

to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.

Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I

stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge

clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I

surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off

it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

82
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 16, 2024, 11:02:58 AM »
https://babylonbee.com/news/after-lackluster-showing-nikki-haley-bombs-iowa

Quote
After Lackluster Showing, Nikki Haley Orders Bombing Of Iowa

83
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 16, 2024, 08:08:43 AM »
The Bob Dole who lost to Clinton?

Trump has already been president so Republicans know exactly what they would be getting by nominating him. Yet half of them voted for people of unknown quality.  If you consider that this is effectively a second term election primary for Trump then he isn’t doing as well as he would be if this was considered his first rodeo.

I don't know if you're dumb, too locked into your dogma to see the difference, or just plain obstinate, but your comparison is as stupid as your point.

President Trump won by a margin un-imagined in previous elections. It wasn't a close election by any description except in the minds of never Trump, ideologues.

84
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 14, 2024, 08:25:10 PM »
My cousin called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her rent. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back.

 Before I called her back, my aunt called, told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money. She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the $300.00, was to get her boyfriend out of jail, so she “could be under the same roof as him for his birthday”.

I was mad when I heard that, but I thought about it for minute, and decided to give her the $300.00, because we all need help at times. So, I called my cousin told her to come get the money.

 A couple of hours later, I get a call from the Correctional Facility. It was my cousin crying, screaming & asking why I gave her counterfeit money. My response, “so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!”

85
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 13, 2024, 08:00:30 AM »
Every time the media or a democrat uses the word "democracy", simply change it to "The State" and everything goes into sharp focus.

CNN: President Joe Biden commemorated January 6 as a day of American infamy, marking the third anniversary of the 2021 insurrection with a call for Americans to join him in defending The State from former President Donald Trump, who by comparison has promised to pardon the insurrectionists.

Biden:     This gathering has been on my mind for a long time for a simple reason: In the face of sustained and alarming challenges to The State, universal human rights, and — all around the world, The State needs champions.

86
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: January 09, 2024, 05:11:11 AM »
I had to look up "molon labe".

Of course you did. And you're a Libertarian?

87
Nothing ever happens to these people. That's why the do these things so blatantly. They have the entire system on their side and covering for them.

88
Think anything will happen, they're Democrats.

89
Spin Zone / Re: The Pathetic State of the Republican Party
« on: January 08, 2024, 04:07:09 PM »

Becky, I actually agree with you about the dysfunctional Republican party, and that something needs to be done about it.

But disbanding it and starting a new TRUMP party will not accomplish anything except create a losing party that you can be proud of.
In order for Trump to be successful he needs to fashion a plan that will get a majority of Americans on his side.  But he doesn't seem to know how to do that.  It is his way or the highway.  And even if his way is the right way that counts for nothing if he can't get that majority on his side.

And wishing that the Dems would turn on their own party is really being in denial about the state of the other side.  They LIKE their party.
I didn’t say “a Trump party” and I didn’t “wish” the Dems would turn against their party. I said they “should.” Big difference. The Dems are destroying the country and the Rs are allowing it.

90
Spin Zone / Re: The Pathetic State of the Republican Party
« on: January 08, 2024, 03:10:23 PM »
I cannot fathom ANY argument for keeping the R party.

Locally and nationally, they are a complete FAILURE and in fact HARM the country we love so much.

They endlessly beg for money and “poll” you on issues that “most matter” to you, which they then proceed to utterly ignore. They whine about “fighting” Democrats and outline the threats Dems pose yet do nothing to stop them. They pipe up with the occasional “introduction” (rarely passage) of bills we might like so we’ll send them more money. They fail to unite behind one true conservative candidate, remaining divided against themselves. And on and on.

As far as I can see, they do nothing BUT grift, cheat us, and line their own pocketbooks AND provide themselves with endless perks, such as personal security, housing, blah blah.

And the most galling thing is that they WORK ACTIVELY AGAINST the will of their own base when it comes to supporting candidates, conducting debates, and standing up for the Constitution.

This is NOT a party worth saving. I’m surprised more Dems don’t say the same thing about THEIR party, but why should they bother? The Rs pose no risk to them whatsoever.

We need a party that will have Dems shitting their pants. Change my mind.

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