PILOT SPIN
Spin Zone => Spin Zone => Topic started by: Lucifer on March 17, 2017, 10:06:17 AM
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: Heart - Warming Lawyer Story
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I
also have a wife and six children with me!"
.Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”
Come on . . . did you really think there was such a thing as a Heart-Warming Lawyer Story?
Look at Congress -- over 300 Lawyers!!!
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Ha! I do think that having that many lawyers in Congress, and in all political positions, is not a good thing. Look at the complexity of the language in the laws they pass, and the regulations they write! As the Clintons said. It depends what the meaning of "IS" is.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats try and bury them in the sand.
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Ha - I didn't believe the story one bit once it got to the part "he saw two men along the roadside eating grass." Humans don't have the bacteria in their guts that produce the enzyme needed to digest the cellulose of that grass. Ruminants, such as cows, sheep, goats and deer, have the necessary digestive system.
Whatever you do, don't let a lawyer get your goat.
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Ha - I didn't believe the story one bit once it got to the part "he saw two men along the roadside eating grass." Humans don't have the bacteria in their guts that produce the enzyme needed to digest the cellulose of that grass. Ruminants, such as cows, sheep, goats and deer, have the necessary digestive system.
Whatever you do, don't let a lawyer get your goat.
Actually, ruminants have no more ability to digest cellulose than humans. What they do have is a specialized organ (the rumen) in which they grow endosymbiotic bacteria that digest cellulose and give off methane as a waste product.
Why do lawyers wear neckties?
Keeps the foreskins from creeping over their necks.
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^^^^^LOL!
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I heard lawyers do go to the beach and frequently go swimming. The sharks never bite them out of professional courtesy.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call 500 lawyers drowning in Lake Michigan?
A start.
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Look at Congress -- over 300 Lawyers!!!
I've been slowly plowing my way through a book on campaigning written by Robert Heinlein back in 1947. Your observation reminds me of this paragraph from his book:
Availability
This stumbling block, a serious one, can be dealt with in only the most general terms. In particular it means that he should be able to devote full time to the campaign for three months before the primary, another three months before the final election, and then be able to close up his affairs and go to Washington. The economic difficulties here automatically eliminate at least 90% of our best prospective public servants. A family man working as an employee can hardly ever get over this hurdle. Available candidates usually are elderly retired people, housewives, young bachelors, persons of independent income, and persons in the free-lance professions—actors, writers, lawyers, lecturers, etc. Sometimes a farmer, a school teacher, or an independent businessman can arrange his affairs to take the plunge, and once in a while an employer will cooperate by holding a job open. But you may expect to hear something like this rather frequently: “Old man, I’d like to and I appreciate the compliment—but I’m tied to a treadmill!” This is one of the reasons why lawyers are so numerous in public office. Lawyers have law partners; they can usually arrange time off whenever the bank account can stand it. Lawyers, of course, tend to be poor lawmakers, but their “availability index” is high.
Heinlein, Robert A.. Take Back Your Government (p. 134). Phoenix Pick. Kindle Edition.
Edited to add from an earlier portion of the book:
If the legislator is a lawyer, as too many of them are, polite graft is simple. Get your own lawyer to explain the process. Shucks! We might as well be frank. In most states (all states, so far as I know) a legislator who is also a lawyer may practice his profession on the side. He may receive legal fees, size not limited by any professional code, for legal services, nature undefined. These fees may be legitimate fees, honestly earned; they may be “clean” graft—fees that fall in his lap because of his prominence as a public official but with no definite strings attached (there is a lot of that and it tends to make a man a tame dog without buying his vote outright); or it may be outright bribery, done in such a manner that it can never be prosecuted.
Heinlein, Robert A.. Take Back Your Government (pp. 56-57). Phoenix Pick. Kindle Edition.