PILOT SPIN
Spin Zone => Spin Zone => Topic started by: Number7 on March 24, 2023, 06:10:46 AM
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Trump To Be Indicted For Removing Mattress Tag In 1997
News of more serious charges dog President Trump today as evidence of a previous crime committed 26 years ago have suddenly unfolded. It seems crimes of outrageous proportions continue to follow President Trump as he prepares to take on joe biden once again.
NEW YORK, NY — District Attorney Alvin Bragg is reportedly set to indict Trump this coming Tuesday for the removal of a mattress tag back in 1997. According to sources, new evidence was discovered in the mattress tag cold case by grizzled Detective Harry Jakes, who utilized modern advances in forensic science to place former president Donald Trump at the scene of the crime.
"We got him dead to rights," said Bragg in an unnecessary press conference. "No one removes a mattress tag in my city and gets away with it!"
The mattress tag in question belonged to a Spring Air Conforma Foam mattress from '97, which historians claim featured a warning label advising mattress tags to not be removed:
Do Not Remove by Penalty of Law Except by the Consumer
https://babylonbee.com/news/manhattan-da-to-indict-trump-for-removing-mattress-tag-in-1997
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They’ve got him now. Everyone know Donald Trump is “the consumer,” so only he legally could remove the tag. But some underling must have done it for him, thus breaking the law.
Think of all the mattresses in Trump hotels. Donald Trump could be in the slammer for years if the hotel workers cut off all those tags.
Liberals will sleep (pun intended) easier now.
;D
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Better call up the National Guard. MAGA is gonna be rioting tonight!