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Messages - Old Crow

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1
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 25, 2022, 05:27:45 AM »
Well crap.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a  state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

2
Spin Zone / Re: FJB continues to set records
« on: June 21, 2022, 03:04:32 PM »
New Hampshire electricity rates will rise a LOT!  65% of our electricity is powered by natural gas.  A few years back folks here shot down the idea of power lines coming down from Canada which would have been hydro powered.  Thanks ASSHOLES!
https://www.nhpr.org/nh-news/2022-06-16/nh-liberty-utilities-electricity-price-double-natural-gas

4
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 14, 2022, 02:19:17 PM »
The following letter is a prime example of bureaucracy at its best. It was written and sent on 11 Jun 1942 by the CO of the USS Skipjack in an effort to get re-supply of a most important commodity. It did, however, ultimately result in the desired delivery.
Lt. Cmdr Coe was CO of the USS Skipjack when he wrote his famous "toilet paper" letter to the Mare Island Supply Office.
USS Skipjack (SS-184) near Mare Island in 1942
June 11, 1942
From: Commanding Officer
To: Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, California
Via: Commander Submarines, Southwest Pacific
Subject: Toilet Paper
Reference: (a) USS HOLLAND (5148) USS SKIPJACK req. 70-42 of 30 July 1941.
(b) SO NYMI Canceled invoice No. 272836
Enclosure: (1) Copy of cancelled Invoice (2) Sample of material requested (a roll of toilet paper).
1. This vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper on July 30, 1941, to USS HOLLAND. The material was ordered by HOLLAND from the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, for delivery to USS SKIPJACK.
2. The Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, on November 26, 1941, cancelled Mare Island Invoice No. 272836 with the stamped notation "Cancelled---cannot identify." This cancelled invoice was received by SKIPJACK on June 10, 1942.
3. During the 11 ¾ months elapsing from the time of ordering the toilet paper and the present date, the SKIPJACK personnel, despite their best efforts to await delivery of subject material, have been unable to wait on numerous occasions, and the situation is now quite acute, especially during depth charge attack by the "back-stabbers."
4. Enclosure (2) is a sample of the desired material provided for the information of the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island. The Commanding Officer, USS SKIPJACK cannot help but wonder what is being used in Mare Island in place of this unidentifiable material, once well known to this command.
5. SKIPJACK personnel during this period have become accustomed to use of "ersatz," i.e., the vast amount of incoming non-essential paper work, and in so doing feel that the wish of the Bureau of Ships for the reduction of paper work is being complied with, thus effectively killing two birds with one stone.
6. It is believed by this command that the stamped notation "cannot identify" was possible error, and that this is simply a case of shortage of strategic war material, the SKIPJACK probably being low on the priority list.
7. In order to cooperate in our war effort at a small local sacrifice, the SKIPJACK desires no further action be taken until the end of the current war, which has created a situation aptly described as "war is hell."
J.W. Coe
Here is the rest of the story:
The letter was given to the Yeoman, telling him to type it up. Once typed and upon reflection, the Yeoman went looking for help in the form of the XO. The XO shared it with the OD and they proceeded to the CO's cabin and asked if he really wanted it sent. His reply, "I wrote it, didn't I?"
As a side note, twelve days later, on June 22, 1942 J.W. Coe was awarded the Navy Cross for his actions on the S-39.
The "toilet paper" letter reached Mare Island Supply Depot. A member of that office remembers that all officers in the Supply Department "had to stand at attention for three days because of that letter." By then, the letter had been copied and was spreading throughout the fleet and even to the President's son who was aboard the USS Wasp.
As the boat came in from her next patrol, Jim and crew saw toilet-paper streamers blowing from the lights along the pier and pyramids of toilet paper stacked seven feet high on the dock. Two men were carrying a long dowel with toilet paper rolls on it with yards of paper streaming behind them as a band played coming up after the roll holders. Band members wore toilet paper neckties in place of their Navy neckerchiefs. The wind-section had toilet paper pushed up inside their instruments and when they blew, white streamers unfurled from trumpets and horns.
As was the custom for returning boats to be greeted at the pier with cases of fresh fruit/veggies and ice cream, the Skipjack was first greeted thereafter with her own distinctive tribute-cartons and cartons of toilet paper.
This letter became famous in submarine history books and found its way to the movie ("Operation Petticoat"), and eventually coming to rest (copy) at the Navy Supply School at Pensacola, Florida. There, it still hangs on the wall under a banner that reads, "Don't let this happen to you!" Even John Roosevelt insured his father got a copy of the letter.
The original is at Bowfin Museum in Hawaii:
https://eugeneleeslover.com/.../Infamous_Toilet_Paper...
This page tells the story of the "Infamous Toilet Paper Letter" written and sent in 1942 by the CO of the USS Skipjack in an effort to get re-supply of a most important commodity. Updated 1/18/2013 to add photo of original document.

5
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 12, 2022, 04:09:43 PM »
What every pilot fears. The dreaded Cumuloviagris Cloud seen here forming over S. Carolina. ATC says stiff to severe turbulence all quadrants.

8
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 07, 2022, 05:14:10 AM »
At a winery, the regular wine taster had died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
An old drunkard, with a ragged and dirty look came in to apply for the position:
The director of the winery wondered how to nicely send him away in this all too Politically Correct world.
He gave him a glass of their low-end wine to drink.
The old drunk sipped it and without the traditional sniffing or swirling said.
“It’s Muscatel, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
“That’s correct.” Said the boss.
Then he gave him another glass.
“This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. It requires three more years for the finest results.”
“That’s Correct.”
And he gave him a third glass.
“It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive.” The old drunk man said calmly.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it of course.
“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don’t get the job I’ll name the father!”

9
Spin Zone / Darrell Scott speech about Columbine killings
« on: June 06, 2022, 02:24:33 PM »
COLUMBINE STUDENT'S FATHER 12 YEARS LATER !!
Guess our national leaders didn't expect this. On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness.. The following is a portion of the transcript:
"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.
"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.
"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death.
Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.
I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy -- it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best.
Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"
You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!
"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, mind, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs -- politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.
"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA -- I give to you a sincere challenge.. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone!
My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"
- Darrell Scott

12
Spin Zone / Re: I love airplanes!
« on: June 01, 2022, 12:43:16 PM »
I wonder if she hears the laughter.

13
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: May 31, 2022, 01:34:16 PM »
Some truth to this.

14
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: May 29, 2022, 03:14:34 PM »
Beer

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