A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic

garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in

awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20

bills falling Out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and

see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that

money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to

the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and

pee

through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used

to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.

Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I

stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge

clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I

surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off

it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

I need to get this for this year’s Army-Navy game.

Stolen from Twitter:    https://twitter.com/HilzFuld/status/1719689381051547680

*WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE . . .*
 
*The Italian –* throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
 
*The German –* carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
 
*The Frenchman –* takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
 
*The Chinese –* eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
 
*The Russian –* Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.
 
*The Israeli –* sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
 
*The Palestinian –* blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of coffee to the Palestinian so there will be peace.

...but... how would anyone tell the difference???

In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. "About 100 people" voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.

https://babylonbee.com/news/senate-to-be-replaced-with-room-full-of-monkeys-throwing-feces

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.

 

IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

 

BOAT OWNER: "Well, there's Clarence, my deck hand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen beers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."

 

IRS AUDITOR: "That's The guy I'm here to talk to, the mentally challenged one."

 

 

BOAT OWNER: "That would be me. What would you like to know?"

Trump got $10B from Congress to fund Operation Warp Speed, followed by multiples of that because FedGov paid for every vaccine.

This is a bipartisan problem.

He got that started when we were being misled into thinking it had a much higher death rate than it actually does. He also mobilized ventilator supplies and it turns out putting Covid patients on ventilators is not the best treatment.  And he provided mobile hospital units which were never used.  Stimmy checks were a mistake. He did a bunch of stuff wrong in hindsight. Biden has no excuse.  We now know all these things are counterproductive or unnecessary.

Trump does need a refresher in Thomas Sowell's Economics 101. He is not a fiscal conservative. I keep telling y’all he’s not a conservative at all. He’s a populist and his primary mission is siding with the people against a bloated corrupt government.  That included printing money we don’t have but most all presidents have done that and besides, Congress starts it. The difference is Trump does it thinking it’s helping the people as the primary goal as opposed to lining fat cats’ pockets.

Everything Trump does is with us the people in mind, as opposed to other politicians who first and foremost take care of their own wallet. That Trump didn’t choose the pandemic as the time to slash the budget is more than forgivable, but now the transparency of the vaccine being primarily a transfer of wealth from the taxpayer to the fascist conjoined twins of corporate/government grift and it doesn’t even work that well is them openly giving the finger to us.  It’s three years later now and we know the truth.  Big difference.