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« on: August 23, 2018, 11:02:46 AM »
Before I was married, I did some pretty dangerous things. That's not bragging, but it is a fact of my history that I have spent time in things where people have been killed, and maimed, and I've lost my share of pals from that kind of behavior. Given we are on an aviation board, and notwithstanding that others here don't believe me, I did compete at the lower level of aerobatic pilot. There are other things, times and places that will remain unsaid.
I've had the 'eye roll' or even more from several women I was with, who after some period of time together felt they should express their own opinion about my chosen way of life and enjoyment. Those women are no longer with me of course. This is something that unless one is a blood relative, guys just do NOT do to each other, ever. Now, after the fact insulting, and after the fact eye rolls from another guy are part and parcel of the culture of 'boy - you was a stupid shit for that' kind of camaraderie. What the guy was mansplaining in part of the video.
There's a famous scene in the movie Jaws, where the two guys are sitting down in the cabin drinking and showing each other their shark scars. Sometimes, after plenty of grog, this is the kind of stuff guys do. But - like the chief in the movie, you don't get to do it, if you haven't been there(he looks at his appendix scar, and decides to shut up) and done that.
We go do guy things. Some of those guy things may not be completely, or even marginally for the advancement of kids, family, fido, mortgage, and health. Some guys go a bit too far, and kill themselves, and their families and dog are left adrift. The alternative is living a life under the watchful eye of some hen. It's not black and white, but there are definite lines that aught not to be crossed.
There's another semi-famous deal where a guy misunderstands when his woman says; 'go ahead, do whatever the fuck you want to do', which they interpret literally, rather than the actual meaning of; 'if you do that, I will make you regret it for the next xx years you miserable shit'. If we thought, for even a short time that the concern was over our male well-being, rather than the more likely concern over the meal ticket, I guess it would be somewhat ok. But in most cases, the woman has not only her and fido and kids to think about, but also how it will look to the other women if her man goes out and actually does what he wants, and is somehow knocked out of the running for keeping up with the Jones'es. No woman wants to be wheeling her man around in a wheelchair and mopping up his slobber/drool after he's shown his manly ways, and things went pear-shaped. And for that, I can't blame them.
When I got married, there were a lot, a lot, a lot of things I gave up. And - for the most part it was worth it. Almost 20 years I didn't so much as touch an airplane. Sure, I looked at them, and once in a while stopped by the local strip and moseyed around, and stuff but I did the right thing and stayed away from temptation until my familial dues were pretty much sorted out. This is semi-responsible guy behavior too, and I admit - some guys don't get it. All I can say to the women in a situation like this is - either put up with it - SILENTLY or get out while the getting is possible. I've been married > 30 years. Made a few mistakes along the way, and paid my price, and things are still pretty good. Fortunately for me, I still have my balls, because I made relatively smart choices, and when I didn't, the mistakes were mine, and I owned up.