I have a three party, post-dated check, written on a napkin in crayon, drawn on a Somali bank. I'll send it right over, and you can give us said valuable consideration once it's in your hands.
(tongue firmly in cheek)
Ignoring for a moment your fairly loose definition of Cold, Hard Cash, and if it's all the same to you, I'd like to do something different. I have a personal check made out for ten thousand dollars US (10 000). This check was intended to be a donation to an LGBTQIA adult orphanage overseas, which by happenstance I learned of while watching Current TV, and was heartstruck by the plight of the poor souls and their parent-less journey of sexual discoveries therefore-and-of. Unfortunately, I later discovered that this charity was a scam, and quite a dirty.
However, I cannot stomach the idea that a tree gave its life-force to create the paper upon which this check is printed (I Didn't Build That, the tree did), and since I haven't as of yet filled out the payable line due to awaiting a call from the orphanage for disclosure of their corporate and fictitious nomenclatures, I'd like to make it payable to one Ser Mr invflatspin ('ihnvurted flaht spihn'). I do this in recognition of the fine opportunity you have given me to spokespers (verb) in front of you and your great brethren on this usenet server. All I ask is that you cash this cheque post-haste, and wire to me without delay a sum of money equal only to my small spokesperson fee of ten and a half hundred dollars US (10 1/2 100). The rest you may keep for your services and hospitality, on behalf of my country the US of America, Florida.
Kindly pardon me for the intrusion, and I look forward to indication of your interest.
Sincerely,
Robert Baratheon Bartholomew Tema II ("Bob")