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Messages - Old Crow

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1
Spin Zone / Bird feeder
« on: March 08, 2024, 06:57:28 AM »
I bought a bird feeder. I hung
it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.
But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table
and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was
everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table ..
Everywhere!
Then some of the birds
turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own
pocket.
And others birds were
boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even
sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like
it used to be ..... Quiet, serene....a
and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.
our government gives out
free food, subsidized housing,
free medical care and free
education, and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic
citizen.
Then the illegal's came by the
tens of thousands. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments
are housing 5 families; you
have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by an emergency room doctor;
your child's second grade class is
behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak
English.
Corn Flakes now come in a
bilingual box; I have to
'press one ' to hear my bank
talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other
than 'Old Glory' are
squawking and screaming
in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government
to take down the bird feeder.

2
Spin Zone / Re: Saw a drawing of Rush today.
« on: February 25, 2024, 06:28:24 PM »
We would pick up our bottles of Tabasco sauce from either the PX or the chow hall IF they had any.  I think the military caught on and when they came out with MREs (stands for Meals Rejected by Ethiopians ;D) added it in.

3
Spin Zone / Re: Saw a drawing of Rush today.
« on: February 25, 2024, 11:33:09 AM »
Ah...Tabasco sauce.  I remember it well from Vietnam days.  We would 'improve' the flavor of C-rats with it to the point of being edible.  My bottle was shattered once diving into a ditch and I was without for 3 days.  That was an emergency!

4
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: February 11, 2024, 07:20:55 AM »
Yep

5
Spin Zone / Re: Question:
« on: February 06, 2024, 06:49:41 PM »
Are you two married to each other?  ;D

6
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: February 01, 2024, 06:33:32 PM »
The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious.

The query:

Dear Tech Support,

"Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck

Tech Support

7
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 24, 2024, 07:07:59 AM »
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied...

"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..

..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"

8
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 19, 2024, 08:06:08 PM »
A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game,

The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!

The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".

The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: "Walk." The batter starts his slow trot to first base.

The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, run!"

The people around him begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.

A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he has four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"

9
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: January 16, 2024, 11:54:54 AM »
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic

garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in

awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20

bills falling Out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and

see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that

money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to

the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and

pee

through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used

to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.

Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I

stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge

clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I

surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off

it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

10
Spin Zone / Re: New Years Eve: Shat is Everyone Doing?
« on: December 31, 2023, 06:30:23 PM »
In June 2015 I flew my 172 from New Hampshire to Ohio to visit my Mom living with my brother before continuing on to Kansas.  I stayed a couple of days taking care of her giving brother and his wife a short break.  For me this was unusual time of year to go to Kansas I usually went in Sept.  Gut feelings told me to go early this year, called Steve, my brother, and set it up with him.  After getting to Kansas with my sister we were checking the farm a couple of days later  Steve called with the news Mom had just died, she was 99.   A wave of both sadness and happiness swept over me as I was able to see her before she went.   Steve took care of things on his end as Lois and I took care of things in Kansas to bring her back home and the funeral.

11
Spin Zone / Re: FBI is busy entrapping Catholic altar boys
« on: December 06, 2023, 07:12:17 PM »
Quote from: Rush on December 06, 2023, 06:22:57 PM
I see what you mean, although I don’t necessarily agree parents aren’t qualified to teach their kids. The problem is someone needs to be at home to do it, in the early years. Later, the kids can teach themselves, you just give them the materials and hold them accountable to it.
Parents need to first teach good study habits.  They will need that for the rest of their lives.

12
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: November 29, 2023, 04:01:44 PM »
Some truth....

13
Spin Zone / Re: Happy Thanksgiving!
« on: November 22, 2023, 08:37:10 AM »
Happy Thanksgiving to all!

14
Spin Zone / Re: Pray for Israel
« on: November 17, 2023, 07:30:48 AM »
Off the subject a little.  In 1978 I was an ATC instructor working at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS.  At this time we usually had 3 o4 Iranian students in every class. I also did some flight instructing at the base aero club and sometimes flew a Cessna 206 for some shrimp boats chasing parts and whatever else they needed.  One Friday night I got a call from the boat scheduler asking if I would be interested in a flight to an airport near Atlanta that night.  When I arrived at Gulfport airport I found 3 Irainian female students that had been in my class a few months before.  They remembered me and we had a good talk.  They had just graduated and wanted to defect to America.  During the flight they told me that things were going to hell in a handbasket back in Iran and they knew it would not be good for women and minorities.  About 6 months later the Shah abducted and we know what happened next.  I dropped them off at a small airport southwest of Atlanta, there were people there to meet them, gave them a good welcome.  One lady sat up front with me very interested in the instruments, communications and navigation.  I often wondered what has happened to them.

15
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: November 15, 2023, 07:09:52 AM »
At the end of our street a crew is replacing water lines to connect to a new water and sewer lines.  About 12 men working and 10 are 50 or above.  2 are in their 30's.  The foreman says it is much harder to get young people to work construction now compared to 20 or 30 years ago.  He says one young worker complains a lot but the other is a hard worker and is a joy to work with wanting to learn to do new things.  They went through 3 women directing traffic around construction until they found one that didn't constantly complain about it's too cold, job beneath her, etc.

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