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Messages - Old Crow

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16
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: November 06, 2023, 12:31:27 PM »
A married couple got in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. All her friends and relatives just went on and on about how youthful she looked! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

17
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: October 04, 2023, 04:15:01 AM »
Lotta truth to this

18
Spin Zone / Re: Removing McCarthy as speaker?
« on: October 03, 2023, 01:49:54 PM »
They just tossed his ass out.  216 Yay to 210 Nay
https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/matt-gaetz-kevin-mccarthy-house-speakership-10-03-23/index.html

19
Spin Zone / Re: 2024 Presidential "Election"
« on: September 20, 2023, 11:52:37 AM »
Some truth to this

20
Spin Zone / Re: The EV fantasy
« on: September 19, 2023, 06:09:15 AM »
Quote from: Number7 on September 19, 2023, 05:48:50 AM
Hmmmm.... and just where does the electricity come from that is needed to charge the ev's?????
Windmills in DC when congress is in session

21
Spin Zone / Re: HURRICANE IDALIA - Where to Help
« on: August 30, 2023, 05:02:33 PM »
Quote from: Anthony on August 30, 2023, 04:10:15 PM
What were they flying? That's too cool!
C130.  There were about 15 people on board.  They were measuring and recording a lot of stuff not just temp, dew points, pressure, windspeed and I understand they were sending the data realtime back to the base and NOAA.  They kept watching me I found out later they had a betting pool going about when I would blow chow.  I had spent 2 years in Vietnam courtesy of the Army with plenty of chopper rides so I disappointed them.  Never did find out who won the pool.

22
Spin Zone / Re: HURRICANE IDALIA - Where to Help
« on: August 30, 2023, 12:15:38 PM »
I was based at Keesler AFB (Biloxi, MS) in the late 70's.  There were 2 Hurricane Hunter squadrons there at that time one was a reserve outfit if my memory is correct.  I had a part time job as flight instructor with the aero club and other instructor was pilot with the active duty hurricane squadron.  I did take a ride through Hurricane Frederick and, shall we say, it was interesting.  I still have the headset I used during that flight.

23
Rusty & Student Pilots / Re: Accelerated Instrument vs. regular
« on: August 16, 2023, 05:24:25 PM »
35 years ago I had a student that was 75 years old.  He told me he had wanted to fly since he was a kid but life got in the way.  Finally his wife kicked him out of the house and told him don't come back until you learn to fly!  He soloed in 12 hours and got the PPL in 50.  Then bought a 172 and he and his wife did a lot of flying.  See the kids and grandkids, hamburger runs, etc.  A year later came back for his instrument.  His wife would do the radios and navigation.  They were a good team together.  They flew for almost 15 years before health caught up with him.

24
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: August 12, 2023, 09:24:09 AM »
You’ll understand
Man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. 
He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. 
He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right every single time.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.
He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
ll
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

25
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: July 30, 2023, 06:06:48 PM »
Cell phones...

26
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: July 23, 2023, 07:16:08 AM »
Lotta truth to this

27
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 20, 2023, 03:59:47 PM »
A man was working in the garden and his wife was about to take a shower. He realized that he couldn't find the rake.. and yelled up to his wife, "Where is the rake?" She couldn't hear and she shouted back, "What?" He pointed to his eye, and then pointed to his knee and made a raking motion. his wife wasn't sure and said "What?" He repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake" His wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her backside, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell IHe could even come close to that one. Exasperated, He went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?" She replies: "Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush" !!!"

28
Spin Zone / Re: Happy Juneteenth!
« on: June 20, 2023, 08:19:04 AM »
June 14th is Flag Day, only one day.  So they took the 'L' out of Flag and gave them the whole month.

29
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: June 09, 2023, 03:32:41 PM »
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER 😁
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been the worst ever. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years. Although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl, I hope that’s not a problem.

30
Spin Zone / Re: Joke Thread: Post 'em if ya got 'em
« on: May 07, 2023, 06:13:28 PM »
Sue

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